Am I Bisexual?
Making decisions about your identity can be a challenging and emotional journey, but you don’t have to face it alone. This page offers support and guidance to help you understand your options, navigate your feelings. Whether you’re exploring your identity or seeking advice on how to move forward, we’re here to provide the resources and encouragement you need to embrace who you are with confidence.
Exploring sexual orientation
Welcome to our support resource for young people who are exploring their identity as gay or lesbian. We understand that this journey can bring up many emotions, questions, and challenges, and it’s important to know that you are not alone. Whether you're just starting to understand your sexual orientation, seeking guidance on how to navigate your feelings, or looking for support, we are here to help you every step of the way.
This resource is designed to provide you with the information, encouragement, and tools you need to feel confident in who you are. We know that understanding your identity can be a personal and sometimes difficult experience, but we want you to know that your feelings are valid, and it's okay to take your time. We offer both group support and one-on-one sessions, giving you the flexibility to connect in the way that feels most comfortable for you. Whether you prefer to share with others or talk privately with someone who understands, we are here to provide the support you need.
No matter where you are in your journey, we are committed to providing a safe and non-judgmental space for you. You deserve to feel accepted and supported, and we are here to listen, offer advice, and connect you with the help you need to make empowered choices. Remember, you are not alone, and we are here to help you embrace your true self with confidence.
When I first reached out, I didn’t know if I could ever fully accept my bisexuality. But the compassionate support I received here made me realise that I deserve to love myself as I am. I now have the tools to understand and embrace my identity with confidence. This helpline was exactly what I needed during a confusing time.
What does it mean to be bisexual?
Being bisexual means we are attracted to people who are the same sex as ourselves and the opposite sex. Sometimes people who are bisexual might initially think they are gay or lesbian, because they may start to notice feeling attracted to people of the same sex.
Being bisexual does not mean having a boyfriend and a girlfriend at the same time, but it means that throughout your life you may have partners of either sex. Some people who are bisexual are equally attracted to both genders, whilst other people who are bisexual may be attracted to one of the genders more than the other.
There are a lot of concerns that someone might have when they start to understand that they might be bisexual. Some concerns might be “can I get married if I’m in a same-sex relationship?” or “can I still have children?”.
It is totally normal to have concerns like this, but it is also important to remember that life for same-sex couples in the UK is the same for opposite-sex couples, so there are always ways to get around any concerns that you might have. For example, same-sex marriage is legal and adoption is an option for same-sex couples.
How do I know if I am bisexual?
There are lots of different ways in which people start to realise that they might be bisexual and each person will do so in their own time. Some people start to realise at a really young age, while others do not begin understanding more about their sexual orientation until much later in their lives.
Lots of people who start to realise that they are bisexual may first think that they are gay or lesbian. This is because they will start to notice signs of being attracted to people of the same sex. If you are bisexual, you may start to notice some signs that help you realise this. These include:
- Paying significant attention to people of both genders.
- Feeling attracted to, or sexually aroused by, people of both genders.
- Fantasising about being in relationships or having sexual relations with others of both genders.
Coming out
Coming out can feel like a daunting task. It is true what people say: coming out is not a one-time task, and you are likely to find yourself coming out many times throughout your life.
Here are some top tips to help you out:
- Take your time – Do not rush to come out. Wait until you feel comfortable and able to do it. It is a good idea to wait and come out when you really want to.
- Confide in someone you trust first – Coming out does not mean that you have to tell everybody straight away. Find somebody you trust – whether it is a family member or a friend – and tell them how you are feeling.
- Be prepared – Some people might not like the news or might need some time to come to terms with it. Don’t worry about this. Some people may need a little time, and you may need to prepare yourself for this.
I think I might need some help... what do I do?
If you need help with any aspect of your sexual orientation, from trying to understand your sexual orientation, to coming out and beyond, you may want to talk to someone to get some extra support.
Get support
Speak to us
Speak to someone you trust
Use online forums
Get support, speak to us
The resources provided helped me realise that being bisexual is nothing to hide or feel ashamed of. I’ve learned so much about myself through this helpline, and it’s given me the confidence to live authentically. The guidance I received made me feel empowered to embrace all parts of who I am.
What if I get bullied?
The world has become much more accepting of the LGBTQIA+ community, but there is still quite a way to go before all the negative thoughts completely go away. The fear of being bullied should not stop you coming out – you should always feel like you can be yourself and not have to hide a whole part of who you are.
It can be hard to come out when you are scared, so it’s important to know what to do. If you are being bullied because of your gender identity:
- Make sure you talk to somebody you trust, like a school teacher, your parents or a friend, to let them know what is going on.
- Join a community of other individuals who might be being bullied because of their gender identity so that you can support each other.
- Avoid any people who are bullying you as best as you can.
- Always be yourself, regardless of any bullies and how hard it may seem.
Understanding my sexual orientation
There are many steps you can take to begin understanding your sexual orientation. Not all of them may resonate with you,
but exploring even just one of these ideas could help you gain greater clarity and self-awareness.
Experimentation
It is completely normal to experiment with your sexual orientation. We all have natural feelings to try and understand our sexual orientation, and this can involve experimenting with both same-sex and opposite-sex relationships. If you are feeling these urges, don’t be scared of them as they will help you to understand your own sexual orientation.
Finding out
Different people realise how they feel about other people in different ways and at different times in their lives. Some people start to understand their sexual orientation based on feelings of attraction towards particular people, and other people may find out through their sexual experiences. Everyone is individual and there is no ‘right way’ to find out.
Feeling comfortable
Feeling comfortable about your sexual orientation is a really important step to achieve. When people start to realise they are not heterosexual, they may feel uncomfortable and that they are not ‘normal’. This is not the case, people in this situation should try to understand their feelings in order to feel more comfortable.
Sharing how you feel
Once you feel comfortable, you can share how you feel. This is known as coming out. Sharing how you feel opens up opportunities for you to have relationships that will help you further understand your own sexual orientation. There is nothing wrong with coming out, entering into a relationship, then realising it’s not for you. These experiences help us understand our sexual orientation better.
My friend just told me that they are bisexual
If your friend has just come out to you, it is really important that you carry on being there for them. Here are some things to consider:
Make sure you are there for them
Your friend has confided in you by coming out, and this takes a lot of effort and trust. It is really important that you are there to support them if they need it, regardless of how you feel.
Don't make too much of a fuss about it
Now your friend has come out, they are probably feeling a huge weight has been lifted off their shoulders. It’s great to acknowledge that they have told you but try not to make too much of a fuss.
Always respect their privacy when they come out
If your friend has come out to you, you should assume that they have only come out to you. Respect their privacy and don’t share this with anyone else. Sharing this could knock your friend’s confidence in coming out further.
Help build their confidence if they need it
It takes a lot of confidence to come out to one person and it takes a lot more to come out to everyone else. If you are the first person that your friend has told, help boost their confidence to help them come out to others.