Bereavement
Losing someone you care about is one of the hardest things to go through, and it’s okay to feel however you’re feeling. This page will help you understand grief, explore ways to cope, and offer guidance for making decisions during this difficult time. Remember, you’re not alone—support is here whenever you need it.
What is bereavement?
Bereavement is the feeling of grief, loss or mourning when somebody close to you dies. When someone dies, people will feel and respond differently as they take time to come to terms with the loss of that person. There is no right or wrong way for people to feel when they lose somebody. Some people will be able to resume life as normal, some will struggle for some time, while others may be deeply affected by the loss.
It’s important to understand that it’s completely normal to have strong feelings after the loss of a loved one. These feelings might include:
- Feeling confused, scared, numb, or low.
- Feeling like you have lost control, or like things will never go back to normal.
Many people dealing with bereavement may feel like they will never get over their loss, or that these feelings will last forever. But this is not true. Everybody comes to terms with death in their own way and in their own time. Feelings of bereavement are temporary and as you come to terms with the loss of a loved one, these feelings will start to pass, but the memories will remain. Feelings of bereavement or grief can occur in other situations too. You may find that you feel very similar if you lose a pet, stop talking to a friend, or experience a breakup. This is completely normal.
You should not put any pressure on yourself to feel better any sooner than you need to, and you should give yourself the time that you need to come to terms with the loss.
Grieving felt like something I had to face alone, but talking to someone who understood helped me realise it’s okay to take it day by day. It doesn’t make the pain go away, but it made it easier to cope.
Saying goodbye to loved ones
Saying goodbye to loved ones after they have passed away is an important part of the grieving process, a way to get closure, and an opportunity to celebrate their life.
This could include:
- Funerals and services
Often, there is a funeral or memorial service that takes place to help people celebrate the person’s life, and to help loved ones say their final goodbyes. People will celebrate in different ways: either through traditional or religious services, or services requested by the deceased person.
- Cremations and burials
After a loved one has passed, they may be buried in a graveyard or cremated. If they are cremated, their ashes may be buried, stored in an urn or scattered at a special or meaningful location.
Talk to someone
Talking to someone throughout the grieving process is important. Make sure that somebody close to you, who you trust, is aware of how you are feeling. Keep in touch with people so you can support each other, especially if you’re all close to the person who has died.
Find answers
When somebody dies, they may leave a lot of unanswered questions that you think you will never be able to get the answers to. But this is not necessarily the case. Think of the questions that you have, and ask the most appropriate person to find the answers.
Understand your grief
Take the time to really understand your grief. Everybody grieves in different ways and some cope better than others. If you take the time to understand how you are coping, you will be better able to support yourself in getting through this period of grief.
Support yourself
It is really important to support yourself both psychologically and physically. Although it seems hard, try to get out of the house, get fresh air and exercise. Keeping yourself physically active will help to boost your psychological health as well.
The stages of grief
1. Denial
2. Anger
3. Depression
4. Bargaining
5. Acceptance
Get support, speak to us
After losing someone I loved, I didn’t know how to handle all the emotions. Getting support helped me understand my grief and find ways to heal, even when it felt impossible.
Managing Life Around Bereavement
Any form of bereavement can bring challenges for people at any stage in their life, and it may feel like the world doesn’t slow down to help you recover.
- I am at school
Speak to a parent or carer, or a teacher who you trust to help you with this. You may be able to take time out of school to help you come to terms with your loss, and your teachers will be understanding.
- I have exams
Most exam boards will have policies in place to help people struggling due to bereavement. Speak to a teacher at your school for more advice.
- I am working
If you are working and need to take time out, most companies will have policies in place to make sure that you can take leave to help come to terms with the loss of a loved one. Make sure you use these policies if you need to.
I think I might need some help... what do I do?
If you have recently lost somebody and you are struggling with the grieving process, it’s really important that you start thinking about reaching out to someone.
There are so many different options that you can think about, and all of them will be able to help you in some way. Do not suffer in silence; reach out to someone now to start getting the help that you need.
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