Pregnancy

So you have found out you are pregnant

This resource is focused on providing clear, compassionate support for decision-making. We understand that every pregnancy journey is unique, and we aim to offer you the information, tools, and guidance to help you feel confident in your choices. From understanding your options to exploring different paths for care and support, we are here to assist you in making decisions that align with your values and needs.

Remember, you don’t have to make decisions alone. Our team is here to listen, offer advice, and connect you with the right support. Whether you need one-on-one guidance or simply someone to talk to, we are committed to helping you make the best decisions for your health, well-being, and future.

We also want to emphasize the importance of not wasting time when it comes to making decisions during pregnancy. The sooner you can gather information and consider your options, the more empowered and prepared you will feel. Time is a valuable resource, and we encourage you to take steps early on so that you can make thoughtful decisions with the support you need, without feeling rushed or overwhelmed.

I've found out that I'm pregnant... what do I do now?

Receiving news that you’re pregnant can trigger a mix of emotions. You may be excited, worried, anxious or angry. All of these feelings are valid, and it can be difficult to process them all. You may be feeling concerned about telling your parents or friends about your situation, or about your education or job. Take a deep breath and try to stay calm; there are plenty of ways to get help and advice regarding the decision you need to make. Whatever your age, you can get free and confidential advice from:

• Your GP
• A local sexual health clinic
• NHS 111

If you are engaging in sexual activities with your partner or anyone else, and you are not ready for children yet, you should always make sure you are practising safe sex. Speaking to your GP about options is really important for both partners, and can include the use of condoms, the pill and other contraceptive methods. Remember, however, that these methods are often not 100% reliable and things can still go wrong if they aren’t used properly.

How can I find out more about my options?

Talking about your options with a friend or family member that you trust will be beneficial. It’s better to tell your family sooner, rather than later, so that they can help you out right from the start.

If this is your first child, then it’s fine to be scared – but your family have been through this before and will be able to give you support. If you opt to keep the baby, there are many services available to support your during pregnancy and once you’ve had your baby:

• Brook offers confidential advice if you’re under 25
• Family lives offers support for families, including young parents
• Tommy’s gives information during pregnancy
• Family Nurse may visit your home to support you from early pregnancy until your child is 2
• Shelter offers housing options and benefits for young parents

You can also speak to our mentors, who can talk through your options with you and point you towards resources that will help you to make informed decisions.

What about my education?

You can stay at school during your pregnancy, right up until the birth. You are the entitled to a maximum of 16 weeks of leave to prepare for the arrival of your baby, and then to recover and care for the baby. If you’re under 18, you still have to:

• Stay in full time education;
• Or start an apprenticeship;
• Or work or volunteer for while in part-time education

Colleges, universities, schools and apprenticeship employers aren’t allowed to treat you unfairly if you’re pregnant or have a child. If you have questions about the policies in place at your place of study, you should speak to a member of staff about your situation. You may be able to do so confidentially.

If you’re under 20, the Care to Learn scheme can help with childcare costs while you study. Always take time to think about your education when you find out that you are pregnant. It is important to factor in whether you think you will be able to continue or whether you will need to defer or end your studies.

How can I tell my parents?

Before approaching your parents, it can be helpful to plan what you’re going to say. You will also need to allow your parents time to process the information. Be prepared for their reaction. They may be upset, angry or happy. They may lecture you or use harsh words. It’s important to remember that their initial reaction isn’t necessarily indicative of how they will always feel. Most parents want to support their child, and many young people who find themselves pregnant are surprised by how supportive their parents are. Make sure you tell your parents that you understand their feelings.

Give your parents time to respond. Let them vent or yell if they need too. Share your feelings with your parents. If you’re scared or disappointed in yourself, tell them. If you’re excited, then tell them this too. If you want, your nurse or GP can be there when you tell your parents. It may be helpful to have a friend or partner there with you too. 

I don't want to keep the baby... does that make me a bad person?

The simple answer to this question is no.

You hear many different things on the internet and in the news about how different people view the topic of abortions. It is really important to remember that this is your body, so it is your decision to make.

There are many reasons for people having abortions, and all of them are valid. Some of these reasons include:

• Not being ready for a child yet.
• It wouldn’t be safe to raise a child in the current environment.
• The child was conceived in an non-consensual situation.
• The pregnancy was unplanned despite the measures taken.

Regardless of your reason, if you feel that the best option for you is to have an abortion, this is totally acceptable and you should reach out to a consultant to discuss this further.